What is a Sacred Intimate?
The term Sacred Intimate was coined during the 1980s by Joseph Kramer, the founder of the Body Electric School. One definition I find useful appeared in a recent Body Electric course offering:
“Sacred Intimacy is a path where the erotic body is honored and included in one’s emotional, physical, mental, spiritual and sexual healing. It is a path of sacred witnessing, intuition, touch, ritual and speech.”
https://bodyelectric.org/online-shops/foundations-of-sacred-intimacy/
I also like these words by another sacred intimate, Don Shewey:
“What does a sacred intimate do? I like to say that sacred intimates combine the roles of priest, prostitute, and psychotherapist. In other words, they approach sexuality with the understanding that it's related to soul work and to spirituality. They use mindfulness and integrity to help people identify, embrace, and practice desire as holy, sexual embodiment as an expression of the soul. They hold the body as sacred and view erotic energy as a crucial component of human life and spiritual health. Their primary intention is that of healing…”
"Sacred Intimate - An integrative approach to sexual healing”
https://www.donshewey.com/sex_articles/sacred_intimate_boulder_talk.html
My goal is to be an agent of healing and growth, in ways that welcome embodied and even erotic experience as part of the process. Many sessions may not be particularly erotic at all. Even so, simply including physical presence and possibly touch, with loving intention, holds the possibility to change how your life unfolds. Our intimate and erotic work together becomes a deeper exploration of self and perhaps what is beyond self.
Here's a diagram to illustrate the idea. One key element is the integration of mind/emotions, body, and spirit. For me, another fundamental element is having the sacred intimate's personal presence and the deeper connection between sacred intimate and client, setting aside some of the professional distance required by the roles of those who offer more clinical expertise than I possess.
The Role of Tantra
My calling to this healing work has been fueled by my personal journey with Tantra in recent years. In its classical forms originating in India 1500 years ago old, Tantra offers a spiritual path toward awakening. The neo-Tantra emerging as a 20th century western invention added an emphasis on using erotic energy to jump-start that awakening. One way of thinking about Tantra is as a set of spiritual technologies, not tied tightly with any particular religious doctrine. Instead the techniques and practices can help us find in our bodies energies that connect us to Reality beyond ourselves.
What I have learned so far with Tantra motivates me to be an agent of Love in this work and adds some tools to my toolbox of practice. For example, some of the erotic massage that I use with some clients may be very much like what one would experience in certain Tantra workshops. Although I am in training as a Tantra Coach, right now I consider myself more a Tantra student whose sacred intimacy work is informed by Tantric principles, rather than as a Tantra expert who could yet fully guide someone on the Tantric path.